Thursday, April 2, 2009

Question from a Two Year Old

After my pregnant sister finished reading a couple of books to my nephew preparing him for the new baby on his way, he looked over at me and asked, "do you have a baby in your tummy too?"

No. No I don't.

I haven't felt sad about not getting pregnant in a good long while, but tears did spring into my eyes over that. I don't exactly know why. Probably partly because he's one of the main reasons we wanted to try to have kids, so to see him looking so angelic and curious and hopeful and confused made that reminder of what we're missing out on suck a little bit. And just what is the difference between his mommy -- my sister -- and me?


When I got back home after spending the night away from Delia, I saw that the movie she decided to watch while she was alone was Juno. That sort of doubled the twinge of sadness.

Even though there are a million great things about not having kids and it's worth celebrating NOT having them, I think there will always be a little sense of loss that sneaks up on us from time to time. Of course, we still might but the chances are very, very slim.