Again with the Not Pregnant!

Even with all our machinations I am NOT PREGNANT.

Took a test this morning: NEGATIVE. Period started a few hours later. It's disappointing, but a lot less stressful than some cycles simply because we knew when I ovulated which means we knew when my period was due and it came exactly on time so there wasn't any guessing or unusually lengthy, drawn-out wait.

Our plan for this fresh cycle is to do another round of Clomid (starting on Saturday, assuming the doctor calls my prescription in on time) and try an intrauterine insemination (IUI) this time. We may or may not do a few other things, too (more tests, more drugs, etc.). We'll see what happens . . .

Moon Phases

I confess to being superstitious about moon phases in our conception attempts; I want the moon to be WAXING (getting fuller) while we're trying to conceive and when implantation happens. The waxing moon is the time to plant, that's all.

Of course, when you have a totally unpredictable cycle that stretches on for six weeks and doesn't/has rarely ever come close to syncing up with the rhythm of the moon it's hard to get everything lined up. Obviously I'm not so superstitious or strange that we haven't tried to get pregnant even if the moon was waning when I ovulated and after, but I have definitely felt more hopeful and happy when the moon phase was "right".

And it was "right" this cycle, I think. The moon was new/dark a couple days before I ovulated, which means it was waxing when I ovulated and, if all went well, when the egg would have been fertilized and then later implanted. The moon is full right now and if my period is going to come, it's due tomorrowish. Naturally I hope it doesn't come. And if it doesn't/if I'm pregnant, I will probably partly attribute it to the moon.

That and the Clomid. And the Instead cups and Robitussen tricks. Every little bit helps, right?

Post-Orgasm Cramps

We're running into the end of another two week wait and a couple nights ago I experienced something new: I got cramps after having an orgasm during sex. Apparently a lot of women have this, but I haven't (though I *have* had severe nausea-inducing crampy pain a couple of times right after vigorous sex right before my period which I hypothesized was from my cervix getting banged when it was more open than usual because of my impending period).

The next morning I woke up way too early at six with cramps and a general feeling of restlessness. Since then I have been crampy off and on a lot and they don't come in waves, it's more like one prolonged cramp. It could just be my period being on its way, but of course I'm convinced it's something else. Something good. Of course I've been googling my head off and found all sorts of interesting discussions which I'm too lazy to post or summarize here right now. Okay, I found a lot of women saying they had post-orgasm cramps and/or general crampiness from around implantation through week ten of their pregnancies. Since I have had plenty of orgasms during my two week wait over the past year with none of them leading to cramps (that I can recall) I'm hoping that SIGNIFIES something about my uterus being in a special condition.

I *could* take an early pregnancy test tomorrow, but I'm nervous and would rather lessen the chance of a false negative. Of course, I would rather have a false negative than a REAL negative, but whatever. I'm also extremely weepy lately, but that's been going on for quite awhile now, especially when I have PMS so that's not unusual enough for me to imagine it's connected to early pregnancy (though a few months ago I did).

One Down, One to Go

We're in the middle of another two week wait; my period is due on June 19th so we should find out around then whether or not our conception attempts succeeded this time around.

I took five 50 mg (the starter amount) doses of Clomid; this is the first cycle we've done anything medical to boost fertility. Without knowing whether or not it helped/worked in terms of conception, I do at least know that it made me ovulate on a normal schedule and we won't have another 7 week cycle/torture/waste of time. That is already a huge load off my mind.

We also tried one other new trick I read about online: inserting an Instead cup after fucking to keep my cervix soaked in as much cum as possible for as long as possible. We did that two or three times, with one of them being a whole overnighter, but the first time being something of a botched attempt since I jumped the gun and tried to awkwardly insert the fucker too soon, losing mass quantities to the hairy crevice of my ass. Whatever. It still seems like a pretty damned good idea, in theory at least.

Anyhoo, we're right around the time when I should be experiencing implantation if an egg did get fertilized. I'm very hopeful, as usual during the cycles when I'm sure I ovulated. I'm afraid that when we went to eat today that the newb waitress forgot to give me decaf, though. With this going on, every little mistake like that is something that makes me kick myself later when I get a BFN (big fat negative) on pregnancy tests. I will totally blame it on the waitress and 1.5 cups of coffee if things don't pan out this cycle.

Update on "Feelings"

I just made a post about how trying to conceive has been affecting me.

More to post here, but later. Haven't had the juice to blog coherently.